I'm constantly amazed at those among my friends who can afford to go out a lot, or go on semi-expensive trips during the holidays, or splurge on nearly-$100 theater tickets like it's no big deal. And I can understand if they are working a job that pays semi-decently, or if they are I-bankers (whom everyone should marry, btw, just so when they kill themselves from working too hard, you can get all their money), but when those people are students, it's hard to comprehend--at least for me--where all the money is coming from.

I guess the reason it's hard for me to comprehend is that although I work, there are always things I need to pay for that suck up my money: classes, books, gas--ESPECIALLY gas! (Now that regular-grade gas has reached $3.50/gal in these parts, filling up my SUV costs $80! And I fill up on average once a week because of all the driving I do...) I also spend money on the little things: coffee, a lunch that ISN'T Cup-'o-Sodium (now with noodles and dehydrated carrot slivers!), the occasional ice cream cone.

Sure I save money for things I want, but usually those are things like cameras, a new TV, computer parts, games for my Wii... I do have a Y-chromosome after all. But that happens so sparingly that even when I do spend money on these things, it still doesn't add up to the price of a four-day trip to Cabo San Lucas.

The only explanation I can come up with--barring the parental assistance possibility--is that my friends who are able to do these things with surprising frequency although they are in med school or grad school or law school or whatever deprive themselves of what I consider to me the little pleasures: an almond cappucino, pumpkin flavored gelato, a nice hunk of brie.

I suppose if I didn't have my daily coffee, if I didn't buy a decent lunch rather than bring top ramen from home (ew, salty!), if I didn't spend that extra two dollars on the nice cut of beef from the market, if I didn't buy the always-expensive but always-deliciously sweet Asian pear from the grocer, if I didn't treat my sister to gelato downtown, if I didn't buy fresh flowers from the farmer's market to brighten up the house, if I didn't do any of these things that make me happy in ever so small ways--then I'd be able to afford to jet off to Europe for a week or two... after about 10 months of torture and suffering.

I guess I'm just not good at delaying gratification.

And that's fine with me.

I'd rather have a bit of luxury every single day than have it all at once. I'm just not that kind of person. And I refuse to feel guilty for feeling that way and not going with friends when they want to do something like that. Because the only thing I'm guilty of is treating myself right day after day after day.

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